I Picked Good

17 05 2012

Oh so many years ago, (although in some ways it seems like yesterday) the day after Hubby and I returned from our honeymoon we discovered that my mother had taken ill while we were gone. That began a difficult time of surgery, rehabilitation, and the complete switching of the mother/daughter roles. My Dad had passed away a few years before and I was the main one who had to deal with taking care of Mom, with me just married and all of 24 years old. Family friends expressed worry that the stress of this situation would ruin my brand new marriage. I just muttered to myself “I hope I picked better than THAT.”

Fast forward to last year when Hubby and I were planning to celebrate or 25th wedding anniversary. My brother had had major surgery at the beginning of April and had just gotten out of a month’s stay in the hospital and then skilled nursing when he called with the list of follow-up doctor’s appointments. His first visit to the oncologist was scheduled smack dab in the middle of the day on our anniversary, a day we were planning on taking off work and spending with each other.  Without thinking I made some mention of that to my brother and he immediately said he would change the appointment. I came to my senses at that point and told him no way, Hubby and I would be there at the appointed time to pick him up and go with him to that appointment. I certainly would not want to delay MY first appointment to see a cancer doctor and I wasn’t going to do that to Bro.

I felt a little bad, though, when I had to tell Hubby that our planned anniversary day out would now include a visit to the oncologist. However, he assured me it was no problem and we planned our day around the appointment.

On our anniversary we spent the morning in Pasadena, looking around at shops and perusing a bookstore. We had a nice leisurely lunch and then picked up Bro for his appointment. After the appointment we dropped him back off and then went to Huntington Beach where we walked on the pier and had dinner at a fun open air Mexican restaurant. It was one of the most perfect days of my entire life.

Marriage is all about going through all life brings together and our 25th anniversary epitomized that commitment. My Hubby’s gracious understanding concerning Bro’s appointment, being there together to support Bro, and still having day of doing some of our favorite things together made it a memorable day. Yep, I picked good.

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4 responses

19 05 2012
kittyhere

Thanks for sharing this. With so many 20 or 30 something year old bloggers telling of ultra romantic grand getaways or devoting their time to their own young children, it is good to be reminded that a simple day spent together, including caring for other close family members, is what a good marriage is really about. You picked well, but you also established expectations that included caring for ‘your family of origin’ along with your spouse. Bravo on both points. May you have 25+ more happy years together.

19 05 2012
Woman in the Middle

Thank you so much for your lovely comments! Sometimes I think people forget what sahring a life with someone else is all about. It isn’t about the big moments, it is about the little ones!

17 05 2012
Michele

That sounds like the perfect date!

17 05 2012
katecrimmins

Yes, you did pick good!

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